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What a Bar/Bat Mitzvah Guest Needs to Know

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Has a friend invited you to their son’s bar mitzvah or daughter’s bat mitzvah? 

If so, consider your invitation an honor!

This ceremony signifies the stage when children become adults in the Jewish faith. 

If this is your first time attending this service, you may have a lot of questions, especially regarding how to dress and behave properly. 

Below, we’ll highlight some of the most important things to keep in mind when attending a bar or bat mitzvah. 

What Should I Wear To A Bar Or Bat Mitzvah? 

Since Bar and Bat mitzvahs are a sacred service, you should dress appropriately. 

For men, that means a very smart suit with tie and freshly shined shoes is the perfect attire for the service. 

A solid color dress or pantsuit is appropriate for female guests. However, some more traditional communities may prohibit women from wearing pants to the service. To avoid an embarrassing situation or unintentional disrespect, please ask your friend or family member what would be the best dress for the occasion.  

Do I Need To Buy A Head Covering For The Bar Or Bat Mitzvah Service? 

Both male and female guests should wear a head covering as a sign of respect and reverence during the bar or bat mitzvah service. 

However, purchasing such a covering is typically not required. 

In most synagogues, women are asked to wear a hat or a lace covering. 

Men wear a small, round head covering called a yarmulke or a kippah during the service. The family of the boy or girl often offers guests a custom-made yarmulke for the service. In the event that the family does not provide this option, synagogues have baskets of yarmulkes they lend guests for the service. 

When entering the synagogue, you may also be offered a prayer shawl (called a tallis) to wear. Although this is typically worn by members of the synagogue, you may also wear one too. However, if you politely decline, that is also acceptable. 

If you’re concerned about not having the proper head covering at the service, you can always ask the family about the specifics before the service. 

How Can I Avoid Disrupting The Bar Or Bat Mitzvah Service? 

As we mentioned above, these services are incredibly important to Jewish communities. 

Doing anything to accidentally disrupt the service would not just be embarrassing – it would be a sign of disrespect.

To ensure that your actions and behavior in the synagogue will not disrupt the service or bother any of the other guests, we recommended taking the following steps:

  • Unless instructed by the rabbi, you should refrain from talking during the entire duration of the service. 
  • Turn off your cell or smartphone before entering the synagogue. 
  • Refrain from taking pictures during the service. There’ll be plenty of opportunities for pictures at the reception after the service. 
  • If you’re not feeling well on the day of the service, please do not attend. You don’t want to disrupt the service by sneezing, coughing or blowing your nose. Plus, you don’t want to spread germs to any of the other guests. 

Where Can My Friend Host Their Bar Or Bat Mitzvah Reception? 

We hope that you now have a better understanding of what to expect at the service and how you can dress and act appropriately for the occasion. 

If you have a friend or family member who is planning a post-bar or bat mitzvah party for their son or daughter, feel free to recommend PineCrest Country Club. 

Not only do we have multiple indoor and outdoor rental spaces for the event, our staff is experienced with helping organize and plan meals for this special occasion. 

To inquire about hosting a bar or bat mitzvah reception at our event spaces, please contact us today!